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Sunday, July 13th, 2008
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1:33 pm - On Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs
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ok, it's been forever and a day since I've written anything here lol. Lots of stuff happening. Got a new job as a media assistant with the local fire dept here which I love. Full time work, good pay, exciting. I go to fires and accidents and do all sorts of cool stuff and film and take photos to document it.
Anyway what prompted me to write was this essay I found....think everyone needs to read it really, I know my brother in law does.....I'd like to think I'm a sheepdog.
current mood:  busy
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| Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
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6:25 pm
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Anyone who has pets will really like this. You'll like it even if you don't and may decide you need one.
Mary and her husband Jim had a dog, Lucky. Lucky was a real
character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a
weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their
luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his
fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up
missing. Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box in the
basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's
favorite toys. Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he
was very particular that his toys stay in the box.
It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something
told her she was going to die of this disease, she was just
sure it was fatal. She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear
riding her shoulders.
The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled
with Lucky. A thought struck her...what would happen to Lucky?
Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary's dog
through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He
won't understand that I didn't want to leave him. The thought made
her sadder than thinking of her own death.
The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors
had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks.
Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog
just drooped, whining and miserable.
Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital. When
she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn't even make
it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on
the couch and left her to nap.
Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn't come to her when she
called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and
she dozed. When Mary woke for a second she couldn't understand
what was wrong. She couldn't move her head and her body felt heavy and
hot. But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the
problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every
treasure Lucky owned!
While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after
trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite
things in life. He had covered her with his love.
Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living
again, walking further and further together every night.
It's been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free.
Lucky?
He still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but
Mary remains his greatest treasure.
Live everyday to the fullest. Remember it is a blessing
from God.
The people who make a difference in your life are not the
ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards.
They are the ones that care.
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting
some kind of battle."
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
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(Add your thought)
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| Thursday, July 26th, 2007
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5:28 pm - A day in the life of Oscar the Cat
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The following was taken from http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/357/4/328
published in The New England Journal of Medicine
written by Dr. Dosa
Oscar the Cat awakens from his nap, opening a single eye to survey his kingdom. From atop the desk in the doctor's charting area, the cat peers down the two wings of the nursing home's advanced dementia unit. All quiet on the western and eastern fronts. Slowly, he rises and extravagantly stretches his 2-year-old frame, first backward and then forward. He sits up and considers his next move.
In the distance, a resident approaches. It is Mrs. P., who has been living on the dementia unit's third floor for 3 years now. She has long forgotten her family, even though they visit her almost daily. Moderately disheveled after eating her lunch, half of which she now wears on her shirt, Mrs. P. is taking one of her many aimless strolls to nowhere. She glides toward Oscar, pushing her walker and muttering to herself with complete disregard for her surroundings. Perturbed, Oscar watches her carefully and, as she walks by, lets out a gentle hiss, a rattlesnake-like warning that says "leave me alone." She passes him without a glance and continues down the hallway. Oscar is relieved. It is not yet Mrs. P.'s time, and he wants nothing to do with her.
Oscar jumps down off the desk, relieved to be once more alone and in control of his domain. He takes a few moments to drink from his water bowl and grab a quick bite. Satisfied, he enjoys another stretch and sets out on his rounds. Oscar decides to head down the west wing first, along the way sidestepping Mr. S., who is slumped over on a couch in the hallway. With lips slightly pursed, he snores peacefully — perhaps blissfully unaware of where he is now living. Oscar continues down the hallway until he reaches its end and Room 310. The door is closed, so Oscar sits and waits. He has important business here.
Twenty-five minutes later, the door finally opens, and out walks a nurse's aide carrying dirty linens. "Hello, Oscar," she says. "Are you going inside?" Oscar lets her pass, then makes his way into the room, where there are two people. Lying in a corner bed and facing the wall, Mrs. T. is asleep in a fetal position. Her body is thin and wasted from the breast cancer that has been eating away at her organs. She is mildly jaundiced and has not spoken in several days. Sitting next to her is her daughter, who glances up from her novel to warmly greet the visitor. "Hello, Oscar. How are you today?"
Oscar takes no notice of the woman and leaps up onto the bed. He surveys Mrs. T. She is clearly in the terminal phase of illness, and her breathing is labored. Oscar's examination is interrupted by a nurse, who walks in to ask the daughter whether Mrs. T. is uncomfortable and needs more morphine. The daughter shakes her head, and the nurse retreats. Oscar returns to his work. He sniffs the air, gives Mrs. T. one final look, then jumps off the bed and quickly leaves the room. Not today.
Making his way back up the hallway, Oscar arrives at Room 313. The door is open, and he proceeds inside. Mrs. K. is resting peacefully in her bed, her breathing steady but shallow. She is surrounded by photographs of her grandchildren and one from her wedding day. Despite these keepsakes, she is alone. Oscar jumps onto her bed and again sniffs the air. He pauses to consider the situation, and then turns around twice before curling up beside Mrs. K.
One hour passes. Oscar waits. A nurse walks into the room to check on her patient. She pauses to note Oscar's presence. Concerned, she hurriedly leaves the room and returns to her desk. She grabs Mrs. K.'s chart off the medical-records rack and begins to make phone calls.
Within a half hour the family starts to arrive. Chairs are brought into the room, where the relatives begin their vigil. The priest is called to deliver last rites. And still, Oscar has not budged, instead purring and gently nuzzling Mrs. K. A young grandson asks his mother, "What is the cat doing here?" The mother, fighting back tears, tells him, "He is here to help Grandma get to heaven." Thirty minutes later, Mrs. K. takes her last earthly breath. With this, Oscar sits up, looks around, then departs the room so quietly that the grieving family barely notices.
On his way back to the charting area, Oscar passes a plaque mounted on the wall. On it is engraved a commendation from a local hospice agency: "For his compassionate hospice care, this plaque is awarded to Oscar the Cat." Oscar takes a quick drink of water and returns to his desk to curl up for a long rest. His day's work is done. There will be no more deaths today, not in Room 310 or in any other room for that matter. After all, no one dies on the third floor unless Oscar pays a visit and stays awhile.
Note: Since he was adopted by staff members as a kitten, Oscar the Cat has had an uncanny ability to predict when residents are about to die. Thus far, he has presided over the deaths of more than 25 residents on the third floor of Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island. His mere presence at the bedside is viewed by physicians and nursing home staff as an almost absolute indicator of impending death, allowing staff members to adequately notify families. Oscar has also provided companionship to those who would otherwise have died alone. For his work, he is highly regarded by the physicians and staff at Steere House and by the families of the residents whom he serves.
Source Information:
Dr. Dosa is a geriatrician at Rhode Island Hospital and an assistant professor of medicine at the Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University — both in Providence.
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| Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
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3:23 pm
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"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?
Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvani a? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?
And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't care at all.
I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.
I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia
I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.
I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.
I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.
I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.
In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.
When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.
When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.
When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer Mat, and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being "mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.
And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and -you guessed It - I don't care ! ! ! ! !
In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. when asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said:
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... and how many want out."
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| Wednesday, June 20th, 2007
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5:16 pm
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There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". ONE is angry and the other is hungry. EveryONE knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for. EveryONE uses them everyday, and if you listened very carefully, I've given you the third word. What is it? _______gry?
can anyone get it? lol
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(1 Thought | Add your thought)
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4:30 pm - THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006:
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Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
Imagine that!
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Whaaat??
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Those-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
You think?!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that headline right?
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(Add your thought)
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| Monday, June 18th, 2007
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4:00 pm - I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and who ever canceled Jerry Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA .
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them, branishing a weapon at them, or threatening them.
I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
And what is going on with gas prices... again?
I believe "illegal" is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
~George Carlin.
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| Saturday, June 16th, 2007
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4:32 pm - and now for the funnies.....
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Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always
feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and
nothing comes out."
"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you
don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran,
sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat
rock; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00
and crap
every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00
( more giggles.... )
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night during a rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he promised he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said.
The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.
On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread..."
...............................................................
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold, Monday morning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever!
Don't mess with them.
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SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!)
This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School ( California ) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.
The outgoing message:
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:
* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
* To complain about what we do - Press 3
* To swear at staff members - Press 4
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -Press 7
* To request another teacher, for the third time this year -Press 8
* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
* To complain about school lunches - Press 0
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!
*If you want this in Spanish, you must be in the wrong country."
.......................................................
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| Thursday, June 14th, 2007
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6:04 pm - Boycott China
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Yet another toy recall for lead being in the paint on some toy trains. And I knew before the news even mentioned it that they had come from China. Shitty products from a shitty country, don't believe me? Take a look at this list http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/category/toy.html and click the links that say 'recalled for lead' then look where they were made..... 99.9% of em will say China or Hong Kong. Why do we continue to import shit from these people? Lead in the toys, poison in the food (remember the big pet food recall? Because of grain from China). They don't care about their own people, much less us. So why do we buy their crap? Because it's cheap? Do you value your lives and the lives of your children and pets so little that you're willing to poison them and yourself in order to save a few bucks? I've totally stopped buying anything unless it says Made in the USA, though thinking about it I'd probbuy it if it was made in Canada too... though I don't see much on the shelves with that label. But if it says made in china, it gets put back.
And lets not forget, for you animal lovers out there, this little video: WARNING very disturbing to watch!
http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=jcruel_china_dog
Their country is shit, their government is shit, their products are shit, and their humanity laws are...wait they don't have any, so scratch that.
Don't feed the dragon people, boycott china as much as you can, buy something else, I have found there are a LOT of alternatives for their junk on the shelves and you don't have to pay out the nose for it. Every Target brand item, for instance, I've looked at has the made in the USA label, there are many more.
peace.
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| Sunday, February 25th, 2007
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1:43 am
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No I was not WoWing smarty pants, I was AFK going potty when you messeged me.
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| Tuesday, February 13th, 2007
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7:45 pm
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7:34 pm
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| Wednesday, January 31st, 2007
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2:07 am
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60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger c ounterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. T! hey'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
current mood:  calm
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1:53 am
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In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind 'a figured we was friends.
current mood: calm
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| Thursday, December 28th, 2006
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4:35 pm - Thought this was interesting
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The 12 Days Of Christmas
There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me! What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning:
The surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality
which the children could remember.
The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit - Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit - Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness Faithfulness,Gentleness, and Self Control.
The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.
So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song
became a Christmas Carol...so pass it on if you wish."
May God grant you peace and happiness throughout this Christmas Season.
current mood: calm
current music: Christmas Music
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| Sunday, December 17th, 2006
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7:26 pm
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@_@
*flops*
marshmellow cream is the devil.........
7 hours..... 7 hours it took to make fudge and cookies. I am dead. lol
current mood: calm
current music: Christmas Music
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| Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006
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12:48 am - Kitty Cat Dance
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| Friday, November 3rd, 2006
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12:43 am - ARG Tiggy where are you I need you to be online!!
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O_O
IamreallyhappyexcitedyouhavetocomeonlinesoIcanboreyoutodeathwithhowgoodadateIhad!!!!!
( THE DATE )
current mood:  cheerful
current music: All Coming back to me now - Meat Loaf
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| Sunday, October 29th, 2006
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8:44 pm
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Two Southern Texas rednecks, Kevin and Greg, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Kevin turns to Greg and says, "You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Greg thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.
The next day, Kevin goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Kevin says. "What's that?"
The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Weedeater?"
"Yeah”, Kevin answered.
"Then logically speaking, because you own a Weedeater, I think that you would have a yard."
"That's true, I do have a yard."
"I'm not finished," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would also have a house."
"Yes, I do have a house"
"And because you have a house, I logically think that you might also have a family."
"I have a family."
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."
"Yes, I do have a wife", Kevin said excitedly.
"And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."
"I damn sure am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to figger out all that stuff just because I have a Weedeater." Excited to take the class now, Kevin shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Greg at the bar.
He tells Greg about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.
"Logic?" Greg says, "What the hell is that?"
Kevin says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Weedeater?"
"No."
"Then you're a queer”.
current mood: cheerful
current music: fish tank
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(Add your thought)
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| Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
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10:16 pm - Your _____ name
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1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current street name)
Rocky Elk Mountain
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fav icecream flavor,favorite cookie)
Vanillia Nutterbutter
3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
T Hal
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Cat
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Jeannine Bakersfield
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name)
Haltaarp
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
Green Coca Cola
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Bill Harlan
9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne)
Colours
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name )
Marie Albert
current mood: cheerful
current music: fish tank
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(1 Thought | Add your thought)
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vanildor's journal
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